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Alyssa Dver
Founder, American Confidence Institute & ERG Leadership Alliance
In this conversation, Ahmad Ashrafi interviews Alyssa Dver, founder of the American Confidence Institute, exploring the intricate relationship between confidence and performance. Alyssa shares her personal journey, the science behind confidence, and how it can be cultivated and taught.
Confidence is a choice, not a genetic gift. Neurologically, confidence is your brain's split-second decision about data — experiences, emotions, beliefs — and what kills it is the fear of not belonging.
Fake it till you make it is baloney. Arrogance is confidence without the data; the only real path is proving to your brain that false beliefs — a relative saying you can't sing, a teacher saying you can't — are wrong.
Authority is a data point, not the data point. When the head of a prestigious neurology department said "I'll Google that" about her son's condition, Alyssa learned to take expert advice carefully but never assume it's true.
Values, needs, and wants are the boundaries of confident decisions. Most people only find them by age 60 — shortcut it by writing your own eulogy in five sentences, and remember confidence isn't a result of success, it's a requirement.
